Tuesday, February 10, 2009

MC vs. FML

So, I've been an avid Missed Connections reader for the past few months, let me tell you. And just recently, I've been informed about a comic book called I Saw You... that illustrates these silly situations! It's so funny, cuz the Daily Texan was looking for comic artists and I thought that would be a really cool thing to do... and turns out someone has already done it. Well, maybe I can be a poser. ANYWAY. My friend Charlene informed me about another website, F*** My Life - FML and it is pretty darn awesome. So ... I guess this is a showdown? Maybe you'll see why I love these things so much...

Missed Connections:

Girl in marketing with the glorious Heiny
(i only hoped this MC was about me, since I am a Marketing major... sigh... hahaha)

Dear girl who sits in front of me in marketing class,

Let me start off by explaining my situation as this will no doubt help you to sympathize with where I am coming from. This marketing class is not my first attempt at passing this course. It has caused me much stress and many sleepless nights...3 times.....at 2 different universities. That being said I would very much like this to be the semester that I finally master this difficult subject.
Now on to the subject of your heiny. It is a wonderful heiny. It is the kind of beautiful bottom that poets write songs about (e.x. Laffy Taffy by DL4). Today I spent the entire period just admiring it.
Unfortunately this is just the problem. Your gorgeous behind, peeking half way out of those trendy tight jeans, has once again kept me from taking the adequate amount of notes that I so desperately need.
Maybe we can come to sort of compromise though. In this settlement, during class time you would agree to keep your exceptional bottom hidden from my sight. I have a few suggestions, possibly a belt? Maybe a fancy dress? Also you could not sit in the front of the class. At the very least, a pair of underwear?
In return for this concession I would be willing to take any other time out of my day so that you could personally display your bottom to me at the place of your choosing. In fact, I would not find it objectionable to view any other body parts that you feel this desperate need to display. I hope that this post is not to demanding and that we can come to some sort of amicable agreement. Thank you so very much.

Distracted guy in marketing class

The Wiener of the Karaoke Contest - 69 (The Real Hot Dog King)

You: Unzipped singer flashing sausage.

Us: Horrified yet transfixed onlookers. Can't.stop.staring.at.da.wang.

Lesson: If your pants are malfunctioning, do have the decency to don underwear beneath your trousers.

I looked at your socks today in class. - w4m - 20
(cute. sigh!)

I like your socks.
I like your hair, too because
it does its own thing.
Turn around and
say hi to me sometime.
We can compare socks and
talk about books and music.

F*** my life

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML


Hope you enjoyed them hehehe.




jen said...

ahahaha. thank you frances for bringing enjoyment to my day

Karinne said...


also, A+ for the comic idea...
too bad it wasn't your idea first....